APRIL ANNOUNCEMENT!

Todd Swift | 01 April, 2021


          
            APRIL ANNOUNCEMENT!

APRIL 1ST, 10.53 A.M. GMT, LONDON

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - NO EMBARGO

EYEWEAR AND EVERGREEN TEAM UP!

Our always exciting publishing group had hoped to be able to announce that we'd be sending the first cat-curated poetry library to Mars by 2025, in conjunction with one of the billionaires you read about in the news that wants to conquer space, but our cat-editor decided he'd rather spend his time in London, lying in sunbeams and reading Keats.

Instead, we have been in  touch with that world-famous shipping company, Evergreen, having noticed they have a very big boat. It crossed our 'editorial team's' collective mind that it would be cool to explore 'slow poetry' - so we are curating a special 'floating poetry world' with every poem, poetry pamphlet, broadsheet, book, and little magazine, ever printed, which will be contained in 2,000 specially-designed waterproof wholly-recyclable biodegradable eco-friendly see-through containers, with all the poems available to anyone who can fly a helicopter out to the giant, sluggish and 'challenging' to manoeuvre behemoth, and rappel down on a specially-designed biodegradable rope, like in one of those Tom Clancy movies from the 1980s. Or those Tom Cruise movies from the 2000s.

Our aim - called Our Plan - is to visit every port - and poet! - in the world by 2099, slowly sailing in the largest-ever vessel designed for flotation upon the high seas. In this way, we will finally be able to deliver any orders placed in 2020 by our loyal customers, at the same time! Synergise!

We believe in super-big ships! We believe in ultra-large libraries! We love books because they are biodegradable and made from natural substances, including words. We want to keep poetry 'evergreen' and go 'analogue' in a too-fast world of instant grams. Let's go slow, is our new motto! Don't be sea-sick, be book-slick!  All aboard! 

 

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